Animal House

I'm living in a Zoo.

You say, "Oh haha, that Emily. always making wisecracks about her living arrangement. That girl sucks her sphincter up when the toilet paper is on wrong."

Well, I do do that, but seriously. This situation is waaay more than some silly toilet paper issue. Which, by the way, should always go around the back. It just makes more sense, because if you try to do it one-handed, and it's around the front, it just-

I digress. But back to the zoo.

I moved in with 2 other girls, Jess and Kelsey, and a guy, Conor, all of whom just graduated OU and are moving to LA permanently. Four people to a 2 bedroom, 2 bath might be squeezing a little, but hey, it's two months. I'm sleeping on an 80 dollar IKEA mattress. I can be flexible.

Then 2 other guys, fresh off the graduation wagon, also drove out here, but with no rental prospects and thus no place to live. So guess who's floor they decided to crash on?

Oh hell no.

Now I'm stepping over bodies to get to my morning coffee and sharing a bathroom with all three of the guys. Give me props, though. I haven't flipped out yet. EVEN THOUGH the hair is starting to coat the shower curtain, and I can't count the number of times I've almost fallen into the toilet because I missed the upright toilet seat. But I refuse to abdicate my throne. My hair dryer is in there.

What is entertaining is the dynamic between this mash-up of human beings. Let us briefly describe the characters in this little sitcom:

JESS
a curly-haired ginger, pseudo-bitch. (By that I mean she's actually a very nice person with a penchant for calling people Hoes and Sluts).

KELSEY
A seemingly innocent, passive-aggressive WASP.

CONOR
A hyper-active television aficionado whose favorite part of watching a TV show is to tell you the best part of an episode right before it happens.

And... the squatters, Sam and Chris. Two homeless college grads locked in a bromance.

Can you imagine the hilarity? I can't. I don't have to. I'm so lucky.

Aw, it's not as bad as I make out. This weekend, we all went to the beach in Malibu. It was really pretty and the waves were INSANE. I got taken out by a couple, turning several cartwheels before burying my face in underwater sand. I still found some in my hair during my morning shower today.

All in all, things are progressing as well as can be hoped for in the City of Angels. I'm thinking my experience is a little more Lebowski-esque than movie star, but pretty fun nonetheless.

Enjoy the pictures.